Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What is proactive in the following page?

Human beings seek out and gravitate toward those environments that are pleasant and positively reinforcing, and they avoid and flee those environments that are coercive and punishing. A working knowledge of these principles makes it possible for us to create a positive, pleasant, reinforcing environment that our children will crave. But even then, they will do things that we as parents find annoying and distasteful. But that should not prompt us to reject them. As I point out in Chapter 25, When All Else Fails, we must do all we can to create the most pleasant, positive, reinforcing environment possible within our homes irrespective of our children's behavior. To one degree or another, they might be out of control, but we must not be out of control. If a child is out of control, a child is out of control. If the parents are out of control, the family is out of control. As I point out in Chapter 7, Proactive Responding To Reactive Adolescent Behavior, as parents we must be proactive rather than reactive. We must be teachers of behavior, not punishers of behavior. When we learn to do that, we see behavior in an entirely different light.

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